Chapter 36

Screenshot-105“Estelle—” Vaughn’s breathing had picked up a notch but it wasn’t all excitement now. He sounded… uncertain.

“I want this, I really do.”

“You’re shivering.”

“I want this, alright? I mean… I thought you’d… maybe…”

Screenshot-132Vaughn took a long, unsteady breath before finally pulling away. “Perhaps just… not tonight, at least. Not right now…”

Estelle felt a bit of her excitement ebb, nervousness crept up her spine as she realised that time was ticking away and they—

Screenshot-154Tonight. Vaughn had said. Not tonight.

Do you really think… that there’s a future… beyond this? 

But she couldn’t ask Vaughn that question.

Screenshot-137I don’t understand you and I hate it. I hate you so much right now. I might never be with you like this again, so please….

Don’t take this away. Don’t take this away from the both of us.

Screenshot-31They watched each other silently, utterly still save for their ragged breathing. Every silent second that passed by, the tension grew between them, as did that unbearable heat and an indescribable, incomparable need.

Screenshot-11The sound of Vaughn’s rising breaths made her bones feel light, something warm had slipped into her ribcage and Estelle wanted to laugh – a dizzy kind of joy that it was. Her heart began to beat uncomfortably hard, something sinful fluttering within her; she could not help but release an audible gasp as his skin made contact with her own.

Screenshot-17She had not felt so desperate for another person’s touch in her life. She hated him. Hated what he had done, but…. but it was as if she could not go on breathing if he did not kiss her. As if she would die if he didn’t hold her…

She felt too weak to fight it.

Screenshot-15Estelle fought the urge to cry out as his lips took hers. All she felt in that moment, all she had battled tirelessly against him for months, was a longing for him so acute that when he finally touched her she was fit to burst, to blaze, to run away and yet hold him impossibly closer.

Screenshot-10She knew it was wrong, that it went against everything she’d ever swore she’d never do; she knew that tomorrow she would despise herself, despise him, but his kisses, all liquid fire and sinful promise, drew every shred of doubt and fear from her blood. She had to know him again.

She had to live just once more…

Screenshot-73“Vaughn… you know that I— I…”

But she couldn’t say it.

It hurt to breathe as she thought about it, saying it was simply impossible.

Screenshot-41In the end, there was only one thing she could tell herself:

Tomorrow I will run. I will run and never come back.

Screenshot-108Vaughn did not kiss her gently. Tonight there was no time for gentleness. Or hesitation. Tonight he understood was the only chance they’d ever have. She’d admitted everything to him. This chance was one he must take – now.

… or else face regret every damned day of his life.

Screenshot-18It happened fast; her fingers sliding into his hair, his hand at her breast, her unrestrained gasp of pleasure. He drank in her sighs as he began to gather up the white fabric up and over her thighs. He wanted to see her in the shadowed moonlight…

Screenshot-26But she suddenly froze in his embrace, her mouth leaving his bereft, breath coming light and quick. It was then he remembered that she was untutored, untainted by anybody.

Anybody but him.

Screenshot-31He watched the conflict burn in her eyes, watched as she waged battle within herself. He waited for her to flee.

He had no choice but to let her.

Screenshot-148Then the prim, proper governess who had berated him and slapped him for his desires reached for the strings that tied her nightgown together, fingertips shaking as she loosed them, one by torturous one.

Screenshot-34Vaughn swallowed as the garment began to gape open.

The silk slithered over her skin in the most hypnotic dance he had ever witnessed.

Screenshot-62And there she stood.

Silent. Bared to him.

A vision in the candlelight.

Screenshot-60She only looked at him, imploring, unknowing, unaware of how unbearably beautiful she looked in that moment. He had dreamt of this for months, and he drank in the sight of her.

All of her.

Screenshot-67He went to her, pulling her against him none too gently. His lips claimed hers hungrily, deeply, hands at her hips, her waist, her soft skin wielding to his touch. She was so warm, so smooth, he felt he might go mad if he had to let her go.

Screenshot-159Her breath was short and fast but Vaughn could think a bit clearer and a few things occurred to him: the first, that this was Estelle, and being with her – knowing it was her – was better than he could have imagined, to this, Marielle Harrington couldn’t even compare; but the second thought was vastly more real and devastating and it was that this might never happen again.

Screenshot-122Vaughn pushed that sliver of fear into the darkest corner of his mind and focused on Estelle’s body, kissing her back and shoulders. He wanted Estelle to enjoy this… he wanted – if possible – to erase from  her fraught nerves whatever it was that the solicitor had told her.

Screenshot-161He made it last. He drew every touch, every cry, every sensation as far as it could go, and stayed with her, all the while desperate to take her, to make her his. Estelle shuddered with every touch, as if she were torn between pleasure and something else that might have been pain, or nerves peeled rawly.

The noises she made, shocked, aroused, breathlessly carnal, would haunt him for years, he was certain.

Screenshot-123He relished every gasp, every moan, and delicately sinful sound he could draw from her. When his mouth close around her breast, she arched into him, into the evidence of his desire, and breathed his name.

It was his undoing.

Screenshot-168Without another thought, Vaughn gathered her in his arms as he had done just days ago.

This time, however, he did not intend to leave her side.

Screenshot-71He placed her before the fire. Finally, the tenuous hold he had over his self-restraint fractured, and he began to shed the last cloth barrier between them.

Screenshot-10_zps95b5dc40Then, with a tenderness he hadn’t known he could harness, he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her; soft, sensual and craving. Her response in kind was sweet permission.

He moved above her.

Screenshot-85One swift stroke, and they were joined.

Estelle cried out at the suddenness of it. A thousand sensations speared through every nerve ending in her body. She gasped for breath,  the feeling of the uncomfortable pressure shocked, stunned her.


Vaughn’s voice was rough, deep. The sound of it, thick with desire, made Estelle’s belly tighten. His eyes were darker, more animal than she had ever seen them.

“Don’t move…”

Screenshot-2Then there was friction—


—glorious friction

Oh God…

—as he stirred to life above her, inside her, and the tender sting melted away.

Screenshot-176She clutched his shoulders as undeniable pleasure bloomed. The pressure inside grew warmer, heavier, deeper, more feverish, more desperate, more… incomprehensible. He held her hard as he took her over and over until she began to learn the dance, began to rise and fall with it, shaping her body to his.

Screenshot-173With an earthly, desperate sound, he grabbed her hips and positioned her so she could take all of him—

They crashed through the burning, blinding zenith together bodies entwined every nerve-ending aflame, mouths searching, seeking, struggling for breath.

Screenshot-92When it gradually subsided, they could only hold each other —exhausted, elated, terrified— knowing that nothing would ever be as right, as sweet, as simple as this…

Two souls meeting in a storm.

A/N: Sooo… er… What do you think?

I know it’s not very long, but since this story is all desire and longing I felt like I had to do a proper love scene at some point. 


9 responses to “Chapter 36

  • bethysims

    I loved it! 🙂 You could really feel how much they longed for each other in this chapter.

    And, I agree this chapter was much needed.

  • violincat

    Hot. I wonder if she remembers she’s pregnant though!

  • LilyParker

    I had to laugh at the look on Vaughn’s face when he saw Estelle naked. That was the only time I laughed, though. O.O That was hot and oh, so well written, my dear Becki! The only part I didn’t like is that they’re both thinking it’s not going to happen again.

    *talks to characters*
    Come on, you two! Estelle, you had better not run away. Enough already! Vaughn, make sure she doesn’t sneak out. Estelle, you finally have a chance to have everything you’ve ever dreamed of, and you’d better not chicken out.
    *puts hands on hips and taps foot impatiently* 😉

  • LilyShadowWriter

    I thought this was written perfectly. A scene like this was definitely needed between them after so much tension and longing for such a long time.

    I have to agree with Lily though: the only part I didn’t like is that they’re both thinking that this is the end! I mean, I see WHY I suppose, but I can’t bear the thought of that and I’m sure despite what each of them thinks, neither of them could bear it either!

    Besides, after what the solicitor told Estelle, well, this could actually plausibly happen! Furthermore, there is the matter of a certain pregnancy! Of course, Vaughn is entirely unaware of that bit, haha. Maybe if he were aware he wouldn’t be thinking so much that this was over–or who knows, maybe he would. After all, Estelle is still clearly thinking about running away!

    Oiy! How could such a lovely moment between them be so stressful!?!

    Great addition to the story 🙂 Excited to see what happens from here….!

  • parabee27

    Awkward yet exciting! I can’t wait for more~!

  • Nory

    Nice chapter! I like the whole story. I’m not usually a fan of stories with this setting, but your blog is the second of of this style that i found really interesting.
    I added it to my favourite reads 🙂

  • LilyParker

    Becki, come back! I miss you … oh, and I nominated you for Liebster Awards for both The Suitor and Curse of the Red Thread.

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